I saw an article recently, the kind designed to make you click out of fear. It claimed that kissing a deceased loved one is a major health hazard, citing “doctors’ orders” to never do it. It’s easy to get caught up in the noise of the internet, but in this line of work, we don’t deal in noise. We deal in reality. We have five generations of experience standing in this room with families. We’ve built the vessels that hold your loved ones, and we’ve stood by as you said your final goodbyes. We have seen it all. And the question of whether to touch or kiss the deceased is one that comes up more than you’d think. So, let’s cut through the clickbait and look at this with the eye of a craftsman and the heart of a neighbor.
Let’s get the cold facts out of the way first. Is there a medical risk? Technically, yes, but it isn’t the horror story the internet wants you to believe. If a body has been embalmed, chemicals like formaldehyde are present. These are powerful preservatives and can be irritants, but a quick kiss on the forehead is rarely enough to cause a reaction unless you have a specific, severe allergy. Regarding pathogens, the reality is that most viruses and bacteria die quickly once the host passes away. Unless the individual died of a highly infectious disease, the body is often safer to be around than a living person coughing next to you in the grocery store. The only real hesitation usually comes from the physical reality of death, the temperature is cold, and the texture of the skin changes. For some, this can be jarring, but it is rarely dangerous.
Now, we need to talk about what actually matters to the families we serve, because grief is not just mental; it’s physical. For decades, we have watched spouses, parents, and children approach the casket. That need to reach out, to smooth a hair, to hold a hand, to kiss a forehead, is a primal human instinct. Touching the deceased helps the brain process the reality of the loss; it cuts through the denial and acts as the final period at the end of the sentence. For a spouse of fifty years, that kiss isn’t a health risk; it’s the final act of a lifelong covenant. Denying that moment out of a minor fear of bacteria can leave a psychological scar that lasts much longer than a cold.
So, does the risk outweigh the reward? In my professional opinion: No. If the person passed from natural causes and the body has been properly prepared, the physical risk is negligible, but the emotional reward is immeasurable. Be smart, listen to the specific advice of your funeral director regarding the cause of death, but ultimately, follow your heart. You only get one chance to say goodbye.
We view our work as creating the space for these final, crucial moments. When we build a casket, we aren’t just joining wood; we are crafting the vessel that allows you to have that last interaction with dignity and peace. It is a heavy responsibility, and one we are proud to carry. If you are navigating these difficult decisions or looking to plan ahead for yourself, we are here to offer our guidance and our craft.
Visit our website randolphscustomcaskets.com to schedule a consultation today.
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